The opening line in M.Scott Peck’s book ‘The Road Less Traveled’ he shares what I believe is the key to better managing the tough stuff in life.
He writes this:
“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”
I encourage you to read that again and again … it is an inescapable truth of life that if you do acknowledge and accept it, your work and personal life become much easier to manage and enjoy.
Reactive and Proactive Resilience
Resilience is your capacity to choose appropriate goal-supporting values-aligned actions and manage emotions (not necessarily in that order) when things don’t turn out as you planned.
Reactive resilience is to choose these actions after you encounter a difficult experience, you get back to ‘normal’ fairly quickly.
Proactive resilience is to take these actions before, during and after you encounter any difficult experience.
In other words, you don’t need to wait for difficult situations to take appropriate goal-supporting, values-aligned actions.
Resilience and Optimism
While optimism is a belief that the future will be ok, resilience is the practice of using your character strengths, mindset, competencies, relationships, and values to support and guide you through tough times (and also through good times).
Resilience is how well a person can adapt to any difficult event in their life.
Resilience isn’t just positive thinking or optimism or goal striving or willpower … it’s drawing on a range of personal and external resources and support to help you better manage difficult times.
Build Your Resilience Activity
What we know from resilience research is that the supportive relationships you have in your life are one of the main resources that can help build resilience.
This week take a moment to think about the people you can really depend on, that you are very comfortable with sharing any difficult thoughts, feelings or struggle you might have.
Another key source of resilience is your own physical fitness.
This week, up the intensity of your exercise routine (or start one if you’re not a regular exerciser).
What you will discover as you reflect on your supportive relationships is a sense of belonging (one of the innate drivers of all human beings), which boosts a number of ‘happy’ hormones including oxytocin.
In addition, another happy hormone you will release naturally in your body when exercising is serotonin. This natural boost in your energy and mood helps build your capacity for resilience.
25 Contributing Elements to Living a Good Life
This topic of Resilience is just one of 25 contributing elements to living a good life that I write about in my book LIVING in the Light of Day.
If you haven’t got your copy yet (in hardcover, paperback, kindle/ebook or audiobook versions), you can Buy It Here.
