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My intention with each of these posts is that you’re challenged to interrupt the noise and routine in your life, just for a moment, to think more deeply about what really matters in life… your relationship with yourself and with others in your professional and personal life.
- Be more mindful not only about what you say and do, but also why and how you say and do it
- Reflect daily/weekly on how your communication with others is building trust in your life
If you want to become a masterful communicator, start with being clear on your intention for the person or people you are about to communicate with by asking yourself “What do I want FOR this person?” This more altruistic approach to relationship building helps move your focus from what might be “What do I want FROM this person?”.
What we know from the science of influence and trust, is this simple yet powerful shift in thinking creates a mutuality of purpose that is so important for how our communication helps us to build trust relationships.
People get your truth – over time, your intentions, promises, actions and results will either promote you as trustworthy or expose you as not. People get your truth through your thoughts, words, actions and results.
When people you’re communicating with get that you have a genuine intention to help them in some way improve their current or future situation, they will be more engaged with what you’re communicating.
It’s not what you say, it’s why and how you say it; and it’s not what you do, it’s why and how you do it. Of course, your ability to articulate your intention also impacts on your effectiveness, but it starts with your intention.
Just learning and applying new communication techniques to persuade or influence people to do what you want them to do, may work in the short term. However, in the long term, people get your truth. To bring more trust into your life, you will need to be communicating in ways that demonstrate your competence to achieve what needs to be done; you need to demonstrate your reliability to get things done when they need to be done; and you need to communicate and demonstrate how you will go about getting things done is in ways that are aligned with the personal values and principles of the person you’re communicating with.
In most cases, you don’t get trust – you will need to earn it.
If you’ve never heard of Anthony Robbins I don’t know where you’ve been hiding. As one of the world’s most recognisable thought leaders on human motivation and performance, Anthony Robbins has been quoted as saying:
“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”
My best to you for now, and remember when you intentionally improve the life of others in your professional and personal relationships, you set up the power of reciprocity … what you give out, you get back.