Your emotional intelligence extends your emotional agility to include your sense of empathy and understanding of not only your own emotions, but also the emotions of others.
Emotional intelligence also involves choosing appropriate behaviour that supports and adds value to your relationships.
Personalities Don’t Clash
You might have heard (or even said yourself) something like “It was personality clash”.
The reality is, personalities don’t clash, it is a lack of emotional intelligence and the choice of appropriate behaviours that have clashed.
Your emotional intelligence is demonstrated through a combination of four abilities:
(1) how well you can perceive or identify emotions in yourself and in others,
(2) how well you can base your thinking, decisions, and actions while considering your emotions and the emotions of others,
(3) how well you can understand your emotions and those of others, and
(4) how well you can manage your emotions and those of others.
Emotions Are Emotions
Living a ‘good life’ means experiencing a range of emotions, and certainly not only those that make us feel good.
Emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, and fear are not ‘negative’ emotions; given certain situations, these types of emotions are appropriate (we always need to be mindful of the consequences of our actions on ourselves and on others – this is an important part of emotional intelligence – our choice of actions based on our emotions).
Activity
Throughout your day today, consciously ‘name’ any emotion that you feel (make a note of them) … see how many different emotions you become consciously aware of in the day.
Use the following emotional labels (based on research by Cowen and colleagues)1 as a guide: adoration, amusement, anger, awe, confusion, contempt, contentment, desire, disappointment, disgust, distress, ecstasy, elation, embarrassment, fear, interest, pain, realisation, relief, sadness, surprise (negative), surprise (positive), sympathy, triumph, guilt, pride, romantic love, serenity, shame.
As you complete this activity you will become more aware of your emotions, what triggers them, and how you act when experiencing each emotion.
25 Contributing Elements to Living a Good Life
This topic of Emotional Intelligence is just one of 25 contributing elements to living a good life that I write about in my book LIVING in the Light of Day.
If you haven’t got your copy yet (in hardcover, paperback, kindle/ebook or audiobook versions), you can Buy It Here.
